OK, the germans still got enough of black humor coming over from GB.
So: What is an Ukulele on the seafloor?
Answer: A good start!
I’d like to see this joke on Envato T-Shirts.
I had a great chat with ThemeForest author Parallelus on Thursday evening and he gave lots of feedback and good ideas on what authors would like to get out of the Marketplaces. I think he’s representing what a lot of you have been asking for and I’m looking forward to talking more about those ideas internally at Envato. As Parallelus can attest to, I was developing a nasty cold by Thursday evening and sadly, I spent all of Friday by myself resting and trying to recover. I’m back on my feet today however but need you guys to lift my spirits.
3 More Envato T-Shirts Up for Grabs!I have three more Envato T-shirts up for grabs for everyone following our adventures via this thread! To help get me back on my feet after feeling ill yesterday, I need some good jokes to cheer me up! The three best jokes that make me laugh the most will win a T-shirt. One joke/entry per person and you have until 5 p.m. CST on Monday October 21 to post your jokes. Please keep them clean. Good luck!
It’s true, you were not feeling well, but toughed it out like a champ. I really appreciate the time you gave me to talk about so many things.
It’s good to hear you’re feeling better. You weren’t alone. One of the speakers spent most of the last day in bed and almost wasn’t able to give their presentation. Traveling can be tough on your health.
I’m off to the Raw Hide later. Lance said he’s going to ride the mechanical bull, and I got a great photo of a one of a kind arm wrestling match between Envato and ‘those other guys’ last night at the bar. Priceless!
need you guys to lift my spirits.
A tourist couple arrives on a lonely pub on northern Scotland. Seated on the bar there is an old man with a beer. Without prior words and not even looking at them, with a hoarse voice he says
- Can you see that church? I built it with my own hands, brick by brick, day and night, during years. Do you think people on this town call me Jack the chapel builder?. I’ll tell you… NO.
- Can you see that port, the big old sailboat? I made it with my own hands. Board by board, nail by nail, on heavy snow winter, during months… and do you think people on this town call me Jack the sailboat builder?. I’ll tell you… NO.
Then the man turns around and puts his sight somewhere outside the window and says
- But you spend a night with a goat and…
(sorry for my bad english!)
So Dave and Sue, get up one saturday morning. Sue says to Dave, What shall we do tday Dave ?
Dave replies, why dont we goto the Zoo.
What for says Sue.
We could steal some animals !!!! yeahhh
Sue replies ok, lets do it.
So off they go to the Zoo, on arrival. Dave says, ok lets go in the reptile house, and I will show you how to steal a snake !
In he goes, closely watched by Sue. He opens the snake cage, grabs a large Python, whips it out and quickly lifts up his jumper, ties the snake around his waist, pulls his jumper down and walks out.
Hyped with adrenalin, Sue can’t believe it, she screams “that is awesome !!!!”
Dave says, thanks… ok now its your turn.
Sue says, what shall I steal.?
Dave replies, ok well… why dont you steal a skunk ?
Where shall I hide it Dave ?
erm…down your knickers !!!!
Hmm ok, but what about the smell ?
Dave replies, well if it Dies you will have to steal another !!!
She: Hey Darling, what about a peaceful and calm weekend without any stress?!
He: Great idea – see you on monday.
Great Jokes Everyone
Here’s an another one :
A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the closet with the little boy.
The little boy says, “Dark in here.”
The man says, “Yes it is.”
Boy: “I have a baseball.”
Man: “That’s nice.”
Boy: “Want to buy it?”
Man: “No, thanks.”
Boy: “My dad’s outside.”
Man: “OK, how much?”
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.
Boy: “Dark in here.”
Man: “Yes, it is.”
Boy: “I have a baseball glove.”
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”
A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball back and forth.”
The boy says, “I can’t. I sold them.”
The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”
The son says ”$1,000.”
The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”
They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, “Dark in here.”
The priest says, “Don’t start that sh*t again.”