565 posts
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+3 more
Coriiander
says

Q: “Why didn’t the undead cross the road to save the chicken?”

A: “He didn’t have the guts for it.”

765 posts
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+1 more
Typps
says

A man buys a lie-detecting robot that slaps people who fib and tests it out at dinner. He asks his son, “Did you go to school today?”

The son replies, “Yes,” and the robot slaps him. The son says, “All right, I went to the movies.” The father asks, “What did you see” and the son replies, “Toy Story 3”. The robot slaps him again, and the son says, “OK, OK! It was a porn movie.”

His father snorts and says, “When I was your age we didn’t know what porn was.” This time the robot slaps the father.

The mother sputters in her coffee and retorts, “Ha! He’s your son, after all,” and the robot slaps her.

6214 posts
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+9 more
VF
says

^ If the robot have to slap everyone, it could be due to probelm in the algorithm too :P

Question: Are you error free?
Robot: Yes (slaps itself)

4528 posts
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  • Won a competition
+7 more
ToivoMedia
says

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

2555 posts
  • Helped protect Envato Market against copyright violations
  • Helps us moderate the forums
  • Has been part of the Envato Community for over 6 years
  • Helped several times protecting Envato Market against copyright violations
+6 more
Graphic-Studio
Moderator
says

^You get a cowboy song, where the truck is fixed, your best friend comes back, you’re wife comes back and your dog comes home too!

2037 posts
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+8 more
matsteiner
Envato team
says

^You get a cowboy song, where the truck is fixed, your best friend comes back, you’re wife comes back and your dog comes home too!
Yeah, this happens when you play a country song backwards :D
2037 posts
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+8 more
matsteiner
Envato team
says

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
A statement of a politican?
2037 posts
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+8 more
matsteiner
Envato team
says

A blond girl starts thinking… (sorry to all blond girls :) )

2037 posts
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+8 more
matsteiner
Envato team
says

A Swiss farmer who stayed miles from anywhere up in the mountains won the first price of a contest: A trip to New York.
As he came back home after one week, his neighbors asked him how he liked the big city.
He answered: “Oh, dunno, fine, but New York is really outback”

(hope it works in English, told with a Swiss German mountain farmer accent it’s pretty funny)

2037 posts
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+8 more
matsteiner
Envato team
says

What says a sound engineer WITHOUT a job to a sound engineer WITH a job?

“One Big Mac Menu please”

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