1026 posts
  • Sold between 100 000 and 250 000 dollars
  • Elite Author
  • France
  • Author had a File in an Envato Bundle
  • Author had a Free File of the Month
  • Contributed a Tutorial to a Tuts+ Site
  • Repeatedly Helped protect Envato Marketplaces against copyright violations
+4 more
Pixelworkshop says

@jeffeatworld that’s awesome :)

For those who might not know, there are delicious stories here. Here’s one I like :

Client: “My site is down. What did you do?”

Me: “Well, I haven’t done anything in a while. Can you get to Google.com?

Client: “No. Why did you take Google down too?”
2211 posts
  • Author had a File in an Envato Bundle
  • Author had a Free File of the Month
  • Bought between 50 and 99 items
  • Exclusive Author
  • Germany
  • Has been a member for 4-5 years
  • Interviewed on the Envato Notes blog
+4 more
crozer says

Once upon a time, a client told me:

Client: I’ve been refreshing Google with these search-keywords but the site is still not showing up. I thought you had already finished the site.
Me: I have. However, it can take a while for Google to find your site and publish it among its first search-results; and, which keywords are you using?
Client: ‘Online psychology website’.

Double fail.

251 posts
  • Beta Tester
  • Bought between 10 and 49 items
  • Exclusive Author
  • Has been a member for 4-5 years
  • Microlancer Beta Tester
  • Referred between 1 and 9 users
  • Romania
  • Sold between 5 000 and 10 000 dollars
web_gab says

Latest from an European client of mine:

“It’s all fine, but I want the page to automatically print without any confirmation etc. Like, user loads page and simply receives a message: “Surprise for you at the printer, GO CHECK !”.”

Indian Client (Delhi based):

Client: “No, when the user clicks the link, the video has to be played in the desktop version of VLC media player”.
Me: “VLC cannot be invoked like that. Besides, flash easily accomplishes what you intend here”
Client: “No dude, it has to be in VLC ”
Me: “Why is that?”
Client: “Because EVERYONE has it, man do you keep up with trends or what?”

:D :D :D That’s sooo funny!!! You have to put it on clinets from hell

238 posts
  • Bought between 1 and 9 items
  • Exclusive Author
  • Has been a member for 4-5 years
ewizz says

“We want to build a web site exactly like Facebook, for kids age 5-6”

253 posts
  • Bought between 50 and 99 items
  • Exclusive Author
  • Has been a member for 4-5 years
  • Microlancer Beta Tester
  • Sold between 5 000 and 10 000 dollars
  • United States
girlscancode says

For a discussion I had this morning: “It has to be compatible with all wordpress upgrades in the next 2 years” – too bad I’ve broken my crystal ball last week or else I would be rich…

77 posts
  • Exclusive Author
  • Has been a member for 5-6 years
  • Sold between 1 000 and 5 000 dollars
nova9 says

Sometime back:

“This is tasteless. We need more Oomph! Where is the wow factor? We need to engage the user into an awesome experience! Like, when they arrive at our website, things should happen! Open and close their CD trays, turn their keyboard lights on and off, play some music…heck mess with their room lights if possible! You feel what I’m sayin?”

Another one:

“Don’t give me that crap bub, I’ve been surfing the web since the 80’s”. (Date of birth of client as I found out: 11.04.1987)

63 posts
  • Bought between 10 and 49 items
  • Exclusive Author
  • Has been a member for 4-5 years
  • Microlancer Beta Tester
  • Netherlands
  • Referred between 1 and 9 users
1Wolf1 says

My all time personal favorite.

I got a call and this guy asks me if I could make him 10 ecommerce sites for 120 Euro’s. I thought this must be a joke but he was serious. Weirdo:-).

2211 posts
  • Author had a File in an Envato Bundle
  • Author had a Free File of the Month
  • Bought between 50 and 99 items
  • Exclusive Author
  • Germany
  • Has been a member for 4-5 years
  • Interviewed on the Envato Notes blog
+4 more
crozer says

“This is tasteless. We need more Oomph! Where is the wow factor? We need to engage the user into an awesome experience! Like, when they arrive at our website, things should happen! Open and close their CD trays, turn their keyboard lights on and off, play some music…heck mess with their room lights if possible! You feel what I’m sayin?”

Hahaha, I can so feel that.

by
by
by
by
by
by