English is my first language and I don’t see any pronunciation problems at all in these lyrics, especially in the context of a popular song. So I don’t think you need another singer.
However, some of the lyrics don’t read well in English and this may be the reason for rejection. For example “We try to catch a speed of life” and “But life for you is only one” (although I understand the meaning). You may like to check the reviewer’s comments again as I think the song may only need certain lyrics to be re-phrased.
I hope this helps
I have two.
The first has a similar style but doesn’t build as dramatically. The second is darker and shorter but builds to a crescendo before a reflective coda.
I hope this may be of some use to you.http://audiojungle.net/item/a-life-remembered/3947254 http://audiojungle.net/item/majestic-landscapes/5682475
The reviewer is not certain whether to accept it or reject it so has referred it to a second reviewer for further review. This could be for a number of reasons, normally not including quality. Maybe it’s a little different and may not sell here. I’ve only ever had one and it was accepted by the second reviewer.
I hope you are accepted. Best wishes.
This may suit. It is quite ethereal with a crescendo at 1:08.